Yep. That is pretty much it, and the sad thing is it's pretty much stopped her from living properly. It's like you say: she has decided what she wants to see, she's decided how the world is, and that's it. If only she'd realised, got divorced and got some therapy. The therapy would be essential as otherwise she'd just marry another abuser. She absolutely adores my husband, who is kind, sweet and gentle as a lamb, and I'm pretty sure that, deep down, she is envious. Because I'm not married to a monster.

It helps to hear people say stuff like: what is wrong with her. As I do feel a little bit like I'm making problems that aren't there (except that's probably not my voice). I'm sorry you had that experience in therapy, as it sounds enlightening but upsetting. The thing is, I really don't need insight into my mother. I know exactly what's going on with her and how she sees things, and I'm sick of giving it credence. I want her to see my side and she never ever will. Even if she did, she'd just edit it out again.