a mother who did not want to grow old alone, chose to let my abuser stay in the family home and babysit me when she went to the pub even after she knew what he was doing, who came home one day when I was 9, handed me a baby and said here you look after her from now on, who blamed me for scarring her precious little boy because I closed a door to keep my naked body warm. who always said she treated all the kids the same but when I asked for anything I got nothing, was not allowed to play out and come Christmas when both my brother and I asked for a computer and tv I had to watch whilst he opened his new colour remote tv, top of the range computer and sack load of games whilst I opened my new pack of knickers and pound shop selection box which I was made to share(the chocolates not the knickers!)
a man who from the moment he first set foot in the front door abused me and treated me like his personal slave whenever mother was out of sight, who lied about who had done all the jobs mother had left for him to do, who came in drunk then used it as an excuse as to why he had 'visited' my room on his way to bed, who always needed the loo whenever I was in the bath, insisted on a full mouth kiss every time I left the house, who taught me through demonstration on me how adults kiss when I was 9 years old, and who did all the right things to look like the perfect step father to everyone else.
the following happened in the week after my partner died,
a mother who brought that man to stay at my home when I specifically said not to bring him, the mother who expected me to comfort her because the passing of my partner (who she had never met) reminded her that her father died forty years earlier yet gave no comfort to me at all. that man who came into my home, told me it would be easy to sell, found, opened and read my then newly deceased partners will before I even saw it and then moaned because I was sat on the floor phoning all my mans relatives and friends to let them know of his passing! that man who tried to get into my PJ's the night after he arrived uninvited! and the mother who nearly went home when I said I wanted that man out of my house for good as he was not welcome and was not invited!

yeah a perfect role model...well at least it taught me what not to be like!