Have seen some of your posts before and also thought you were seeking some help. Have been thru something similar as a younger woman, and tho i've worked thru much of it, and it's been work, it has left its mark. But I think it's possible to deal with the trauma. That memory thing can be tricky, and I know some of the therapies are designed to work with it. So, I don't really know what to say here. I would persist with therapy and research about your kind of PTSD, and keep moving along, even with gaps in your memory. That way, you're still moving forward! Sorry I can't come up with a better answer, but I do know it's good to keep trying to progress, even when something eludes you, or you have a setback!