Oh no haha, I just got off of my period...but I have been looking up symptoms of the hormone deal since it happened a day before my period. But I have been off for a while and I am still having obsessive thoughts and not feeling like myself. This has happened before, when I wasn't even close to starting my period, so that's why I'm thinking it might not be that specific reason.

I'm not real sure what it could be...maybe I have some from of OCD? with the obsessive thoughts? Maybe the depression caused it? I wasn't having these thoughts until I started not feeling like myself. I feel like they have taken over me and I feel like this is going to be who I am for the rest of my life, because I don't know how to think normally anymore. I don't even know who I am anymore, which then makes me think I have depersonalization...LOL I AM OVER ANALYZING MYSELF WAY TOO MUCH. But that's all I can do at this point, because our brains try so hard to fix something even if we aren't even sure of what it is. When I try to look at something familiar to distract me makes it worse, because I get confused of how I am supposed to feel or think when looking at it. I hope I am making sense...i feel like I am repeating myself

This bottom part might be somewhat pointless, I just had to vent though.

Last night I noticed I was getting VERY angry. My boyfriend came home from work around 12am and started playing one of his video games, and I was fine with that, but he stayed up til 5 in the morning playing it after I asked him to stop around 2 or 3...i even asked him to turn the volume down, because that's what was keeping me awake, but he had to listen to them talk to play it. I was being very nice to him about it. But when 4 rolled around I started getting very irritated and then started crying because he was still playing and I knew my anxiety was going to to get worse when it got light outside and I wanted to go to bed while it was still dark so I could escape my mind. I was so angry by the time we went to bed. But normally I wouldn't care, unless I had a job to go to in the morning, but that's not the case. I got upset over something I normally wouldn't have gotten upset about.

And earlier this morning after I woke up I started thinking about my thoughts and got so angry, like I almost wanted to hurt myself, but I know that would never do any good. My mind set used to be narrow (in a good way, or similar to being organized) Now it's one big jumbled mess.