My boyfriend has an 8 year old daughter that lives with her mother in California, my boyfriend and I live in Colorado. My boyfriend wants to move out to California to be with his little girl and help raise her, but the mom is putting our location in limbo. The mom is applying to go to college in either Santa Rosa or Redding California. We plan on moving next July but are not sure where until she gets accepted some where, then we'll move there. I get it, college stuff is a long process. I'm a little perturbed by that...but I understand it and respect that she wants to better herself. I think it's great.

I have spent 5 years trying to move back to Colorado and was able to do so in 2011. Everytime I look at the mountains, I get upset because I will miss everything here. I love Colorado...I really do, but I also love my boyfriend. I really don't want to move to California, mainly due to the cost of living and I really don't care for California. I have a hard enough time trying to support myself here!!! I've been to California a few times, not for me. On the other hand, I understand why he wants to go, and I am supportive of that. I don't want to give my life up here though. I like my job and do well at it, and I love love love Colorado and all it's beauty. Any other state like Oregon or Washington...I'm fine. California....not interested.

Growing up I never wanted kids either, let alone a daughter. My boyfriend and his mom seem to think that I have what it takes to be a 'mom' and I have heard that from several non-family people. (Little children flock to me for some reason, so do animals, it's strange) I have taken care of her once in the past for a few weeks and had decent results. I did a better job than her mother says my boyfriend, taught her how to make a cake, let her help with dinner (she had home cooked meal every night!), fixed her boo-boos, took her shopping and was just nice to her. Despite all this, I just don't feel a maternal nature in me....plus I feel like I just can't dedicate myself to taking care of a child that isn't mine. I am very disappointed in myself for feeling that way.

I don't know what to do or how to feel. I am wrong in feeling this way? I feel just horrible and selfish. Should I try and see what happens? I have extremely mixed emotions on this WHOLE situation. How can I bring this up to my boyfriend with out devastating him? I really feel as if I should wait the situation out and see where the mom gets accepted at before making my normal irrational decisions. I am for sure going to talk about this in therapy, but I want to know what you guys think about the situation.