Alcohol is a med in a way. In low doses it does actually make u feel better but it's hard to stop at a little. In the long run alcohol will get u more depressed if you stop your meds. Also it exaggerates reality. If your prong to hallucinate you will even more.

Now about the meds. I will agree that not all meds are for everyone! I did not like any of the antidepressants I tried until I got to Wellbutrin. I too don't like to feel dopey, tired, no energy, etc., I need to be fully functional. May be your the same way too? Let your doc know, there are many different meds to try and if your pdoc understands why you don't like the meds perhaps he/she can find some more to your liking. But no meds and just alcohol is just plain dangerous for us.