Sorry to be a flake, but that's not news. Because of my past behavior, I was thinking that I needed to reassure you that I had no attacks in the pipeline, and indeed to not anticipate that there will be. I have focused a lot on that. But in my heart I realize that as logical and rational that may be, I was reaching out.
In all of these years we have said it all. I cannot conceive of a meeting where we definitively say goodbye forever. As you once said, we are stuck together. But I doubt that there is more we can really say/communicate that will not land us in the exact same place.
I am terrified at the thought of meeting with you. And I strongly feel that you are better off with me out of the picture. Problem is, I can't forgive myself, move forward, or have any faith on my own.
But, again, it is my issue, not yours.