Sloviak44,

Welcome to PC! I just noticed that you hadn't gotten any replies yet to your question. You are more likely to get replies if you start your own thread. If you like, I can move your post and make a new thread out of it. Just let me know, ok?

My father retired from the AF too, so I'm familiar with the lifestyle.

Have you had any therapy for your anxiety and depression, etc.? What you describe sounds like a lot of stress, which therapy might help you with, and it sounds like you have some confusion about what you want to do with your life. It doesn't sound like "going off the deep end" to me. More like you are looking for some direction and maybe a little confused.

I just read a book about relationships and advice and how we make decisions, etc. The title is "Should You Leave?" by Peter D. Kramer. It's really a lot more than you might think from the title, almost written like a novel. I learned a lot from it, about all the things that come into play when we make decisions or give advice. It also helped me to understand my relationships better. It sounds like something you might get something out of.