I relate completely. My mom is very supportive in non-intimate ways: we meet and have dinner, we go on outings, she sometimes helps me out of a financial pinch. I feel so ungrateful for being angry at her. But the one time I tried to broach the abuse, she said she did the best she could and she didn't think I'd been that affected by it since I seemed okay now. She got very chilly with me for a few weeks, and then--just like with you--it was as if the conversation never happened. I guess it's the closest I'll ever get to an acknowledgement or apology.

My T, I think, would like me to confront her and try to deepen our relationship. I don't think he quite grasps how deeply she denies things in her life, or how profoundly she can cut people out of her life if they force her to break that denial. I figure a superficial relationship is better than none, but a part of me is always seething with rage about this. I just want to scream, "Admit it! Admit that you did not protect me! Take some responsibility for it!" But I don't think she can.