Sky, I'm sorry.......I had that post up on my computer at work for a long time and had been trying to type it between interruptions and sent it just before I shut down my computer at work and it wasn't until I got home that I saw your second post and realized you had posted the first time.

I know it must seem like I want this to continue and am not doing anything about fixing it and I don't even know where to begin to tell you what I've done and gone through to have this end.....I could probably write a book about it but I guess it doesn't really matter what I've done up to now....it hasn't worked and I'm at a breaking point.

There is s much I could tell you LadyDragus about what he says his why's are and I can tell you outside people like the people I work with who have seen the toll this has taken on me say.......he is a control freak, he regrets messing up our marriage, etc.....he made it impossible to see the therapist here in this small town and even knew before I got back from my first therapy appt with this new one out of town where I had been.......wonder how he knew? How he knows where I'm at and what I've done before I've even gotten home from being somewhere? Most importantly WHY IN GOD's NAME SHOULD IT MATTER TO THE MAN?

anyway, I do appreciate the encouragement and support and hope that I haven't upset anybody by posting that this continues to happen and I'm looking for a way out and really do want for somehow this whole thing to be over and am trying not to make it end by ending me........anyway, I've dragged this out again and I'm sorry.

thank you,
Lori