The one I fully respected recently broke up with me, wiping out all my fundamental beliefs. I am unable to move on, completely lost direction and have no resources to combat the raging hell I'm in. I am destroyed and I mean it in a very matter-of-fact way. I lost something.

I am no fool and since I prefer not to kill myself if only possible and hopefully build something that at least resembles a life I do fully cooperate with my mental health team but I am highly suspicious about their motives.

At this point there is absolutely nobody I can respect or trust. I guess that's why I'm here - the anonymity; seeing just fractions of people can be helpful - but it is no stroll in the park either.