Wow. That's a difficult place to be. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that they are thinking that they might not have much time left. No two people's experience is exactly the same, but since you have asked for insight, let me tell you a little about mine. I grew up in a VERY dysfunctional family and throughout my mother's life I had to deal with her every single day. Sometimes several times a day. At the time, I would have loved it if she had called me only once a month and expected to see me only a couple times a year (other than holidays). Both of my parents are dead now. Despite everything, I miss them. You mention that you feel you have to pretend that everything is fine. Can you tell your parents that everything is not fine? You mentioned that you were childless. As a mother of two, I can tell you that when things are not right with your child you know it, whether they say anything or not. Perhaps they have the sense that things are not going well for you and they are doing what they can to be there for you. Or perhaps they know that they were not the parents that they should have been and are trying to make amends to you the only way that they know how. Just something to consider. IMO they only way you will ever find peace with this is to drop the front that you say you are putting on and try to be honest with them about how you are feeling and what is going on in your life. But just remember that you do not HAVE to do anything, including love them.