I have been sober for two years, and my BPD is MUCH improved. I would never have been able to do the work that I have done had I not gotten sober. Just saying...no problem was ever solved or washed away by pouring alcohol on it. When you sober up the problem is still there and you still have to deal with it.
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I have heard about your "normal" and it does not sound like fun to me.
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