It is so beautiful outside today. Very fall like low 70's no humidity. I can't inspire myself to get off the couch.

I know I am depressed and I am going through the grieving process. But this flavor of depression is different.

I know I am alive but I feel like a ghost. Like the essence of who I am has either left me or is trapped way down inside myself.

I have no energy, no ambition, no desire, I am just a lump of flesh using up air.

I don't want to shower, dress, go out, do anything around the house.

This is my 4th week on Effexor 150mg. I don't feel anything from it.

I force myself to do some exercise in the house, hoping it will help. It doesn't.

My therapist is away this week. But she hasn't been helping. She keeps giving me assignments. But I have no energy or desire to do them. She listens to me cry and talk about how I played a part in my sons death.

How does one comeback to the living when you feel this way ?

Or maybe you never do......