I am so sorry this is happening to you. As long as he has you for a punching bag he doesn't have to look at himself. He can put all the blame on you. And of course he doesn't want you to get well and see a doctor because then people will know. Don't buy into it. I've been there and remember walking on eggshells, feeling to blame,feeling if only I was a better person. How it eroded me. I didn't know who I was anymore. But people who are healthy or trying to be don't hit. They show respect and you deserve that. It is scary and hard to deal with. There are lots of us here for you . You are not alone. I am glad that you have found a therapist and if you got a real good one you will be on the road to a better life. I wish I could give you a big hug and steal you away so no one could hit you again. Hang in there. One day you'll look back and laugh and wonder what took you so long to start this process. Its a wonderful,rewarding journey that only you can give to yourself. Be good to yourself this holiday. Have bubble baths, and good music, and a special treat. Lots of hugs and hugs to you.