My girlfriend and I are going through this exact same scenario daily with the exception of me having a job. Once I finally get home from working ridiculously long hours all I want to do is park myself in front of my computer or TV playing video games into the wee hours of the morning. I am so hyper focused on the games that I won’t eat, sleep, drink, or do anything else other then play video games.

When me and my girlfriend finally hashed everything out about why I don’t help around the house I told her I’m too overwhelmed when I’m told something as vague as clean the house. Or clean this room. Or do the laundry. It’s too much to concentrate on, I end up getting overwhelmed and shut down not doing anything but getting mad and lashing out at her out of frustration (the lashing out is more due to my bipolar than my ADHD). What I finally had to tell her was give me specific things to do. Instead of clean the living room; she tells me to pick up everything on the floor, dust the bookshelves and the TV, put away all of my gaming stuff, and vacuum. It accomplishes the same thing (the living room is clean in the end) but I have individual tasks that I can focus on instead of the whole room. If that makes sense.

It has been hard for her to adapt to since she’s like you’re an adult and should know how to do it, and I do. It’s not a matter of not knowing how to do it, it’s a matter of concentration.