Hi Chris
Welcome to Psych Central. You will find we have many forums here that may be of interest to you, particularly the depression forum, where you can write about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. You will get a lot of support here. I hear you saying repeatedly that you feel you haven't done anything with your life and you fear failure due to your depression. This is all the more reason to seek out help. Most communities have clinics with reduced fee or no cost to clients in need. And as gayle said, if you are a student, you can get help thru the college. Also because of your long term depression, you can use the disabilities program at your college to get special help, like longer time to complete your work and such, so you can be successful in college. check it out. take care.