Oh speed please don't say you played a part in your son's passing, i know you are still hurting my love , i really think that will never go away, but i don't think for one minute your son would want you to give up.....go back to your GP and demand some grieving counselling, it takes a while, and grief takes on physical forms as well as emotional, i still grieve for my mum 5 years on, i will never be the same....
i feel your pain
god bless you and prayers are on the way xx
gismo xx