I will weigh myself maybe once or twice a month because I have a panic attack every time I do it, and even though I know I need to keep track of it for health reasons, it is still scary.

Today I had an important doctors appointment, and they weighed me. Which makes perfect sense. I will close my eyes in order not to see the number. But this scale, well, it bloody well SAID the number out-loud, and my mom was in the room, and In that moment I felt like I was going to sob and shut down and completely ruin this appointment.

I didn't ruin the appointment. I just ruined my day. I keep hearing the number over and over and over again, it wont stop.