((lynatsunlakes))),

Welcome to PC and the PTSD forum. Sorry you have had so many challenges in your life so far. Most of the members can relate to getting to the point where the "wall" stops working somehow and the confusion that comes with PTSD.

Try to remember that the programs you are involved in are there because you are not alone in being challenged, and there is a "healing path" for women who struggled like you do. As you meet other women like you, that alone will be comforting too.

It sounds like you went through a time where you were having bad thoughts, always remember these thoughts do "not" last and with time and therapy and "validation and comfort" these often strong feelings "will" subside "greatly".

At first "triggers" can be strong and so can the nightmares and anger and anxiety, but as you spend time in therapy and slowly get "much needed validation" and lots of time to talk about how you feel and express yourself emotionally and even "mourn" you will begin to "gain ground in your healing" and not feel so desperate as you have been.

It is "VERY GOOD" that you are taking steps to get help and have decided to surround yourself with people who "understand" what you are challenged with and can support you and really "listen". A big part of the "challenge with PTSD" is feeling alone with it and not quite being able to describe it to others where they respond with "validation, patience and understanding and "support"". When you get the right people around you, it will be tremendously helpful to you and help you experience "less and less anxiety or triggers".

The human brain is designed to feel "better or more in control" when someone gets to verbalize whatever hurt them and have others that can "hear and comfort them".

You are welcome to vent/share/question whenever you need to here, the members will do their best to help you feel supported and heard as we all know that is very important.

(((Welcoming Hugs)))
OE