Josie girl its ok i know your trying to help, i dont take it personal or think your being hostile at all I appreciate this so much, dont have anyone to really talk to on this.. It wouldnt change anything as far as my friendship with him or my love for him. I will still love him always. The end goal of this is I believe he is really struggling , he always will say i wish i could tell you but cant bring myself to, i want to but cant't , maybe he thinks i will judge him , he said he has never told anyone whats going on with him, not his parents , only i know a little by the little he has told me , that its more than depression, and that he doesnt want to put me threw it or anyone, i was confused at first but am starting to understand, he told me he doesnt know if he can love cause he doesnt love himself even, he is very down on himself,. When you care about someone it doesnt change your feelings imo, theres nothing he could tell me i would not support him and try and help , just be there for him. He said he cant afford a therapist but i think hes afraid to go to find out whats going on. I know therapy can be expensive and he has to want to do it on his own but if he can go one day are there places where they do a sliding scale type of thing where insurance will cover it? Everyone else thinks hes just moody but in private because of our talks , i know its more by what he tells me, i think its hard for him cause he wants to get it out but feels he cant , which is so hard. When people tell him to get over it everyone has probs he will always look to me like help. I cant tell anyone he doesnt want me too, but its heartbreaking to see the struggle, our friends i know love him and would accept it whatever it is , but i know hes fearful of people knowing that much about him.Are you suffering , hes single, so no relationship there but what you said about your sexual urges being thoughts sounds like him. He has said that he hates having to hide a part of himself which breaks my heart, i want to help him.