Kind of. I was specifically looking for information on living this situation with a depressed person. I ended up finding a book called "On Your Own Again" which clarified things.

The author had an interesting insight; when you lose a partner, you grieve the loss of that relationship... and since the relationship is lost, your partner/ex becomes irrelevant in the process. You now deal with this on your own and for yourself.

That helped me distance myself from her a bit and just stop worrying so much about what she's going through and why she did it.