I guess because the knowledge that I can not have returned the love I feel I am capable of. And I am not speaking of only romantically. Because I feel it should exist and people should have that in their lives. Because I can not have a trusted friend who would betray me should the "right price" come along when I am willing to give so much and not do that. That what good is on this planet is short lived or laced with not so good intent. I guess I have too high of standards. I hate hypocrosy, lies, and deceit when they are "major" things by what I understood as societies standards.