Quote:
Originally Posted by JosieTheGirl
I know that when I listen to someone and try to help and offer solutions or point to resources, or give ideas, or whatever it is we talk about... I do that because I like helping people. I genuinely do; it is kind of my thing. ...I kind of just feel like it's what I'm supposed to do a lot of the time. [oh no, am I bragging?]
*shrug*
But, no one can actually know that about me?
No one can know why I'm here, why I talk to people, my motives, whether I'm actually a "good" person or not.
Ultimately, if I end up being a positive influence though, with no negative consequences, what is the actual difference?
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I guess the question, I sometimes ask myself, can I sleep with myself, at the end of the day?
I know, through the years, I've learned, some in therapy, but mostly in on-line support(not this board), was to ask myself what are my own motivations? It stemmed from a discussion about 'always' being kind, etc to others. And what motivates that? When it's done for accolades, then it lacks sincerity. When it's done to proclaim moral superiority, it lacks sincerity.
That long running discussion, was helpful in learning to stop being a doormat for others. And also, in learning to not be angry and resentful with others, for not living up to standards. It was part of learning the art of 'letting go' and part of the co-dep healing work, I went through, when I was in a not so great marriage.