Stainedglassheart, please feel better. There is a person out there for you. You are not a bad person, you are just dealing with an illness. Things will get better. I feel so bad reading your post, I could feel the pain in your words. I'm Bipolar I as of a month ago, so I know what it's like to feel guilty over impulsive mistakes. It hasn't always been easy, but I'm still here, and somehow through it all, my now husband has stayed strong with me. You simply need to find someone with strength, believe me, their out there.

Hugs