...so the doctor gave me new medication,

I hated pills because they had messed me up so bad

...but I dropped my pride and impossible to get along with self...

and it's been a ride I can tell you...

what I notice most now that I have adjusted?...

I am not angry anymore...
sure I still get the mania and this has been going for days...

and maybe I'm just a little bit worried but I'm ok.

I have been brutal insane furious for at least 26 years

that's too long

like holding in true psychopath for that long has nearly killed me over and over...

suddenly my fury has departed

and what fit's so snug into such an emotional expanse now?

a deep love all sincere for all living things...
it could also kill me too but it's a much better way

it's intense to recover from intimate violence
and experience sensitive silence...

so I am barely the safe side of toxic on medication...

and I'm not surprised it has taken this chemical extent... hell I have tried all the others on the street...

is it just my time?....have I finally been given a break?

I might be able to live now?

all I have been doing until now is dying!

I'm still broken right now...but I am recovered in very gentle pieces

I love that I am not angry any more...
I can be crazy but not in such pain about it

thanks for listening

with love... James