Adam K, sounds like you have had a hard life and a background that is hard to get away from. I think it may be good to remember that your father/mother, etc. is not who YOU are. On my last birthday, I received not a single card, phone call, or best wishes. It was so sad for me that I said to myself, "Well, I will just give myself a hug, and sing myself "Happy Birthday". And so I did. It may not have been much, but I was glad I did it. Best Wishes. God loves us just as we are. We don't have to do anything to get Him to love us. Amazing.