I'm afraid I can't offer much in terms of advice on how to make you feel any better but I can say I can relate.

I never had the misfortune of suffering from sexual abuse of any kind but other than that I'm in a very similar boat.
My own first sexual encounter, if you could call it that, were also with another boy roughly my own age. I was very young at the time, not yet at puberty. I've never held any kind of antagonism or other hard feelings about this as it only happened a handful of times and I know I did some strange stuff when I was going through puberty.

I too hate my own sexuality. Or rather, I hate myself for not being able to have enough will power to never indulge my sexuality. I don't think anything is "wrong" with me; this is just the way I am.
I've kept myself out of any and all relationships throughout my whole life because I knew I could never bring myself to be sexually active, much less so with someone I might care about.

I wish I had some kind of solution to offer up but I always find it good to know that there are other people out there with very similar situations.