Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemountains
...When all of the info. has been put together, OMG I can't believe that I present as well as I do.
In a nutshell here are the major distresses for me: I am currently suffering through major depression, my bp state is such that I could be considered as a person who can't perform in the workworld (btw, I am successfully teaching now, although I know that I have had my work problems in the past!), I am an extreme OCd, type A personality, funny to me because I feel that I am so disorganized!
I cannot appreciate what others have to offer because I have a grandiose?? personality, I do not let people know me and do not form close, personal relationships. I am restless. My mind works on overdrive, I try to overthink all thoughts. Meanwhile, though, if I have to deal with an emotional issue, I will completely shut down. I am unlikely to accept outside help for my problems.
Oh, the "positive" finding is that I am extremely intelligent...Btw, I am confused about the depressed state I am supposidly in. Currently I am in overdrive with energy. ... Is it possible to be depressed even in a constant state of mental and physical changes? I don't get all of this.
I know, if you are still with me, what a boring post!!!
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We've known all along that you are extremely intelligent!
Furthermore, NOT a boring post! In fact, it is very interesting, as I relate to a LOT of it (all but for type A, extremity in my OCD, and not appreciating what others have to offer/grandiose personality --though I see you question that about yourself as well.) Your comment about being surprised how well you present? Oh yeah.
Every psych person I've had marvels about that too!
Let me throw a theory about that at you. Maybe it is from so much practice. I don't know how old you are (but that you are not a kid/young adult), but think about it --- combine enough trips around the sun on this planet with what you've been through, and you the result is probably that you learned early and well the survival value of it. And therefore have a lot of practice.
Having energy and depression is possible. Like BPN says, it might be a mixed. When it is relatively mild, it's tolerable and you've probably been there before w/o realizing it. But escalation can bring on some serious hell, so do please keep an eye on that and your psych people apprised.
As for finding the positives, what I see is that you are strong. Even stronger than you know.