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Originally Posted by Pfrog
Thanks for posting this.
I've saved it to my favorites bar and plan on consulting it often.
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No problem
glad you like it.
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Originally Posted by Open Eyes
I think it is important to realize that "most" people use the 4 F's to some degree.
However, when someone has PTSD or complex PTSD, they are much more "sensitive" so that will mean that average reactions are much more "magnified" with PTSD.
I agree with you HealingNSuffering, when people hear the word "narcissism" they often think of it as something "bad". We all need to have "some narcissism to thrive and NPD is a "disorder" when someone is so narcissistic that it affects/harms others and even themselves. When someone has NPD they are "very self absorbed" and they demand a lot of "adoration" because they are actually "insecure" however they do not even realize it. They are often "very controlling" and are quick to "eliminate' people whom they may feel "threatened by". They can be "very dismissive" even mean and vindictive because they do not know how to "help, nurture, care for, others" so they tend to "avoid" or get angry if they are actually "asked to care or respect" the boundaries of others.
It is important that if you read about the 4 F's that you do not determine yourself a "failure", it is always important to remember that with PTSD everything is often "magnified" and that includes "self criticism".
OE
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Thanks
I agree learning these are very important and are hard wired into all of us even people without PTSD to a certain extent. I think the reason why those of us who suffer from PTSD are more sensitive is because our stress levels are higher, our adrenalin response is exaggerated and little things literally get on our last nerve. You're explanation of NPD is pretty good, I was with a sadistic narcissist for 3 years and she tore up every fiber of my inner being. She had me addicted to our toxic relationship to the point where I was cutting ties with good friends for her. Eventually after we kept hurting each other over & over my old T convinced me that I should end the relationship because it truly was toxic and tearing my life apart. It was the worst breakup I ever had and left a permanent scar on my psyche, I haven't even attempted to start another relationship since because of the damage that was caused by my last one.
Anybody who has PTSD is not a failure at all, in my opinion people with PTSD are not only heroes but also very strong people. We have endured a lot of hardship and survived a lot of situations that were potentially life threatening. We are ultimately survivors of extremely adverse situations.
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Originally Posted by A Red Panda
Oh totally. My flight response is massive - I'm always busy. As soon as I get upset, I get busy with something. It's pretty much go go go in my life.
When I'm depressed and Flight/Freeze - I can pretty much guarantee that when I'm depressed there is ZERO fight response and any Fawn response is minimal because I think that it won't matter what I do, that I'll still be a piece of crap. But the Freeze will come into play when I run out of energy to keep busy - in which case, I will get lost in book or writing a story or watching a tv series.
When I'm hypomanic and Flight/Fight: I don't have the attention span to read or watch movies and am far too physically agitated to focus on things like that. I'll be mostly super extremely busy and productive... but if I somehow get trapped into a situation that is not good? Hello Fight Response! (This rarely happens, so I can say I rarely ever react with any semblance of a fight response... but when I do watch out cause it's huge).
When I'm baseline and Flight/Fawn: I'll be go go and go, but I usually find it easier to comply with what other people are wanting all the time, because then I hope that that will avoid it. so again, I'm keeping myself as busy as I can but if I am interacting and someone else pushes a need towards me... I'll do my best to fill it and hopefully can get it over and done with and get out of there.
But in each phase... there's really only ever 2 and it's primarily Flight. And it's constant and I'm very rarely have any time where I'm NOT acting in one mode or another.
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It seems like a daily struggle huh? I remember during the worst of it wishing I could just make it all stop and have a day off from having PTSD. The only way I would ever feel at peace is when I'm in the woods or gardening, it had to be quiet or I would get really paranoid. I've since learned techniques to create a "happy place" in my mind which operates in a very similar way to a flashback except it involves positive images and a peaceful feeling.
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Originally Posted by tinyrabbit
I freeze or fawn. Not good.
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I freeze to, sometimes to the point of derealization and depersonalization which makes me feel sort of like an alien in my own skin. During periods of high stress I have even had some out of body experiences. Before therapy I suffered from agoraphobia as well, to the point where I was like a prisoner of my own comfort zone.
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Originally Posted by growlithing
Definitely freeze, sometimes fight
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Thank you
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Originally Posted by avlady
Nice article!!
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Thanks, glad you liked it!
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Originally Posted by Pfrog
Obsessive/Compulsive (flight), and Dissociative (freeze) seem to fit me most.
"... The freeze type tends to project the perfectionistic demands of the critic onto others rather than the self, and uses the imperfections of others as justification for isolation ..." (I'm exactly opposite here ... I do this to myself instead of others.)
"...Freeze types are in denial about the life narrowing consequences of their singular adaptation ..." (I am totally aware of this and am NOT in any denial about how constricted my life has become ... I often feel trapped by life and that due to my anxiety and fears, I've painted myself into a corner and am not sure how to change or escape it.)
I've recently returned to therapy and am beginning to address some of this even though I wasn't aware of it in this way. I was beginning to feel that I hadn't properly processed and grieved the traumas experienced in and by my family of origin.
It started early (3 years of age - earliest memory, could have started earlier even?) until I escaped (33.5 years of age).
OMG! ... I hope I wasn't caught up in it so damn long that I'm totally beyond help! ... I gotta admit, the very thought of that totally scares the @#$%! right outta me!
Thanks again for sharing this information.
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You're welcome, I hope you find peace through therapy soon. EMDR seems like promising treatment for those of us with PTSD, when I first met my T she recommended that I see an EMDR specialist. But I was too scared to go and ended up sticking with her because its the best therapist I ever found. After you share the links with your T, your work with the T will become a lot better. I noticed it did for mine, the author Pete suffered from C-PTSD himself and he got better. You should read some other links on his website when you get the time, its a great resource of information.
I think you would benefit a lot from reading "shrinking the inner critic" next. Don't worry you aren't beyond help, you can get better and have your PTSD down to a manageable state. You can get your life back, just try to remember things will seem to get worse before they can get better.