Adam, My former therapist described my childhood as abusive because my parents just weren't there for me. My oldest brother is 11 years older and my only other sib is a brother who is 4 1/2 years older than I. My mom was "tired of staying at home" and got a job while I was still an infant. I was told many times that I was an accident. That she knows exactly when I was conceived, and it was when the family was on vacation, and my mom started having morning sickness immediately, while they were still at the fishing camp. I have self-esteem issues and they may be related to my childhood...or they may not. But what's important is that you don't like yourself. I think it'd be a good idea to work on. I think we should all be our own best friend. So, be objective. May one of those pro/con lists. Good traits on one side and traits you'd like to change on the other. I'd bet you have way more good traits than traits that need changing. Seems we tend to focus on the negative about ourselves. When you lose all family and friends, then you just have yourself. Get to know this person. Celebrate the god parts of you, and work on those you think need some tuning up. A lot of us have fears about our interactions with others. I know I am very quick to blame myself. I still work on it. I suggest you do too. Work to see the good qualities you have, and they are probably many, and think if you would like that person as a friend. I'd bet you would. So ignore the thoughts of not being good enough...tell them to shut and leave you alone, and you learn to love yourself. Do take care and be good to yourself.