Hi and welcome I am struggling with what to say as I can't tell you whether you have BPD or not. Some things sounds familiar but not enough to go on. If you have read the symptoms and are like, 'hell that really is me' then I would go with it -IMO- Maybe get yourself a DBT work book and get as much self help off the internet as you can! You may also find coming here on a regular basis a good source of help too

I really don't know how your health system works (and I should really probably learn seeing as most of you are from the US - I am from the UK) so maybe others here can advise you on seeking other help.

Glad you came here. Keep expressing yourself as much as you need to and hopefully you will find some answers