Quote:
Originally Posted by Samanthagreene
All the people I've told about my depression so far have been really supportive, but a lot of them assume that when I'm sobbing or SIing, it's because something happened. My mom came in on me once as I was crying and immediately asked, "What happened?" I couldn't find words to explain that nothing had happened, I was just a terrible person and hated myself so much. Other friends do this, too.
I think generally, when people think depression, they don't think about neurotransmitters as much as breaking up with a boyfriend or losing a loved one. These things are terrible, but is it possible to explain to them that my specific depression isn't CAUSED by anything, it just cycles in and out? Has anyone else experienced similar difficulties with people?
Thanks,
-Sam
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Most people just don't understand, so I've learned to just tell immediate family. My problem lately is that I'm not deeply depressed, but just depressed enough that I keep looking toward the future and seeing nothing in it except problems and pain. One of my kids is a constant source of pain and needs to be dealt with constantly (like me, she has depression, other physical issues/illnesses), which means doctors, meds, etc. Actually my other child who is now an adult also got depression from me.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm making it day to day now but I don't see anything like a "happy future" for any of us. I find myself passively wishing death. In other words, not *doing* anything, just looking up different forms of cancer, etc. I'm actually avoiding seeing doctors for my annual visits like mammograms, getting a colonoscopy, etc. because I feel like if it happens to me it would be better than all this other crap long-term. I do take meds and they help somewhat but not really. I'm still married to my kids' father and I honestly many times have felt that if I were gone my kids would have a chance at a better step-mother than I am a mother. (or even a better nanny!)