My parents did their best to mess us up. My father (or shall I say the man I was raised to believe is my father, the DNA tests aren't back yet) was an abusive alcoholic, mostly abusive to my mother. My mom was loving and caring, yet to worry tending to her own survival to be there for us. I have lost of issues as a result, but am a strong believer that i can be a strong parent despite them.

I often reflect on my own childhood. What needs weren't met? Am I meeting those needs for my children? How did I feel when ______? How can I help my children through those feelings?

Even though I can't learn by example of what parenting should look like, I was able to get a pretty good idea of what it should not be like and I've worked very hard to use that knowledge to do things better for my childre. While none of us are the perfect parent, overall I'd say my husband and I do OK.

When I have those moments were i am angry and feel the urge to completely flip out, I remind myself I can't be angry at my parents for what they've done if I'm repeating those same behaviors.