Quote:
Originally Posted by Teen Idle
You are always so lovely to me, Sun. Thank you.
Today I worked on it a lot. I wrote down my weight on paper, and I tore it up. And to avoid gathering the pieces again (OCD...doesn't mix well) I flushed them down the toilet (sorry mom and internal plumbing). I drank a lot of tea today and, despite that number, I ate breakfast, lunch, a snack (which involved a cookie) and I am waiting for dinner to be ready. I don't want that number haunting my life or ruining my health. That number was GOOD. It showed me that I am doing well! And that I should be proud! It's just the ill part of my brain that is telling me I should be ashamed.
I have been clinging onto restricting and keeping my numbers low for so long that I forgot how it feels to have some energy. And I forgot how it is to get excited about good food, and not to get nervous and panicky over it. I am not saying that, in one day, I was cured. But after thinking about it all night and all day, I know that I am doing the right thing for my body. And, despite it all, I am proud of myself right now.
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you rock !!!!! I am so impressed that you figured out a way to deal with the bumps and bruises that happened. Its a rocky bumpy winding road full of twists and turns and roadblocks. But I really believe you have what it takes to stay on that path to recovery. Setbacks.... like today? yes. But I believe with all my heart that you are going to make it. Great idea about flushing the words down the toilet. I love it.
I came back here because I thought of something I had forgotten. Singing. It blocks the mind from all the wackiness, supposedly. I heard it from a teleconference with an awesome woman named Sonya Choquette. She said that the mind cant be obsessing etc on things when we are singing. And I know someone who sings all the time when her mind is too busy with stuff. Its how she manages it.
But you already found your own way. Paper and a toilet
And you ate.
Again, I simply say.........you rock !!
