I'm so sorry you have lived with so much pain....but know this...clearly you have a purpose here or else you would not have survived and become the person you are...

And here you are... thankfully...and I hope that one day you will be able to lie down and sleep peacefully on your own because you finally feel safe.

I recently learned that my insomnia was more about fear; fear of closing my eyes and not being aware of my suroundings.

A coping tool that served me well throughout my childhood.But in adulthood it became a sleep phobia.. and once I accepted that I don't have anything to be afraid of anymore, I can sleep.

Nightmares are a different thing altogether.... i have had my share... I used to have night terrors alot as a child...dreams can keep ya from going to sleep for sure...
I wish I could help ya with that one..

I wish you could enjoy Christmas. it is truly a joyous time... I'm sorry it was ruined for you....You deserve to feel the joy of Christmas.I pray you find peace in your heart and spirit soon...with love, Faith