I went to see my pdoc on Friday. He was running an hour behind and had an office full of patients to see. A woman came in and smelled like she poured an entire bottle of perfume over her head. I get migraines from perfume and have for 40 years. I was not going to leave just because of this other woman, so I asked the receptionist if there was another room I could wait in and she put me in another doctor's room that wasn't being used. After all that I saw my pdoc for about 5 minutes. I told him about my suicide attempt and all he said was that he couldn't change any of my meds so close to my surgery and see you next month. I was very disappointed.

But my best friend was in town yesterday and we went for lunch. We had a really good heart to heart and talked about everything going on in our lives. She told me I was a strong woman and that I could do this by on my own. I feel so much better since talking to her. We've been best friends since grade 8 - I've know her 46 years.

I also broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He finally admitted that the reason he disappeared in July was because he took in three of his grandchildren because their parents can't take care of them. So he's never going to be able to move to Canada like he promised. I can't move to the US for financial reasons - my health is bad and I just can't afford to live there. Surprisingly I'm not feeling that sad about breaking up with him. I went through all my grief when he disappeared in July and I seem to be ok now with the fact that it's over. Life goes on.