Phoenix, you really ARE a strong person! I am so proud of you for how you handled both your pdoc (and the stinky woman), and your ex.

I think your pdoc was right to not really add in any new meds just before the surgery. You don't want to risk having to deal with side effects while also on the meds for the knee surgery. That could just be hell on your poor body!!

Look at things as a whole new beginning right now - you just had a suicide attempt so no more of those (that's the rule. No second attempts until you've lived a FULL new life. Got it?! ), you're getting brand new knees, and you've just gotten some brand new freedom as you aren't going to be spending your life accommodating your bf. Sounds like a good time to start a new hobby (that doesn't require the knees!).