I'm sorry your mom wasn't able to be the mom you needed her to be;I know that feeling.

I felt relief when my father passed away cuz I thought my suffering was over. I guess it would be safe to say that I feel numb too... i have never felt grief over his death.

I hope you know it wasn't about you... you deserved to be loved and nurtured and protected by your mom, and it was never your fault that she couldn't do that.

Stay strong...Faith