So my main go to person is my dance teacher, who has been nothing less than a second mom to me... After learning I was suicidal this spring, she has been nothing but 100% supportive of me and helping me get treatment and pushing me when I want to give up... That being said, I have put her through hell... She was starting to get burnt out, but still wanted to be here for me, so she started setting limits... I absolutely hate these limits, and can't help but feel like they're because she doesn't want to be around... I completely realize I am the reason they have to be there, but I feel like they are unnecessarily harsh, even though I know they are perfectly reasonable... After 9:30 at night, I can't text her or call her unless its an absolute emergency, and if I do, she is automatically taking me back to inpatient... She took me the first time around, too, and sat in the er with me literally all night... But now, even if we're in the middle of a conversation, once it hits 9:30, I get an "I love you" and that's the end of the conversation... I can't help but feel like she's slamming a door in my face every time, that just happens to have the words "I love you" written on it, even though she obviously doesn't care about me enough to even finish a conversation... And usually she replies to my emails after that, but if I send an email today, she won't reply until tomorrow... I hate feeling so alone every night because the one person I've been able to rely on for so long refuses to be there any more... And I feel like getting on here just makes it worse, because its a reminder that she left me there to suffer through the night on my own... The other problem I have with getting on here is that I feel like I am just a name with a label... Because I am just a name with a label... IGotThis with BPD... I'm scared that I'm just going to be stuck with always having to come to this website with a bunch of people who never know if they'll be hot or cold, and when I'm already so uncertain of myself, it's scary...I feel like I'm breaking just because I can't have her with me, and because I'm the reason I can't have her with me... I hate feeling like she is leaving me just because she is taking care of herself.... It's absolutely terrifying