I have a friend who has had a very hard time with the idea that I dont' have Borderline personality disorder, which was diagnosed last summer, but that I have a dissociative disorder.
She has been a very good online source of support for me, but lately whenever I talk about it, she will remind me that she "worries" about me, the diagnosis, how I will be treated, etc. She hasn't come out and told me that she doesn't believe me herself, but has mentioned many times that any professional she has spoken with doesn't believe DID, or similar disorders exist.
I realize that is many people's opinions, and I'm not interested in starting a debate about it. What hurts is that she won't say how she herself believes, but is very clear that the diagnosis upsets her.
I wrote an email back to her, explaining what it means to me, my symptoms, etc. I also asked at the end if there was a reason other than simply being worried about how others will treat me, that this makes her uncomfortable. Basically I mentioned that I hoped it didn't trigger her because it is related to truama that I have been through, something she has been triggered by before (related to her past, not mine).
I just wish people could tell you how they feel, instead of always quoting other people. I don't care how other treatment providers you've seen view Diss. Disorders, I care about how you, as my friend, feel. I want to know whether I can expect support, or whether it is not going to come. I've never met her treatment providers, and never will, so it doesn't matter to me. Plus I can stick up for myself when I need to.
I am waiting to here back from her, to see what her reaction is before I decide, but it makes me sad.
Has anyone else had issues with "well-meaning" friends/family? How do you deal with it? Especially when people tell you they worry about you...and not in a way that is positive support, in a way that feels much more negative.