Thank you all for the replies!

It's good to hear I'm not really alone in this (though I often feel like I am). So let me ask you something. What do you do when you're really low and you feel like nothing will ever be ok? What do you do when you hate yourself and feel like you don't even deserve to live? I should probably add that I'm not suicidal. However, I often wonder why I'm alive when things never get better anyway (because this is pretty much never-ending). Sometimes I catch myself thinking things like "why do you even live? You should probably just jump out the window" or something. Are those suicidal thoughts?

Also, I'm not sure if it's allowed to talk about suicidal thoughts here so I'm sorry if I'm breaking any rules by posting this.