I do completely realize I need to lean on other people and not just her, I just have extreme trust issues, and I always have, and the two other people I usually lean on both got pregnant around the same time, so I can't to to either of them... I have also have quite a few very bad experiences with therapists, so it is taking me even longer to trust the one I'm with not completely... I am already seeing her twice a week and my psychiatrist once every two weeks... I am slowly being able to trust her more, but it is taking time...

I am trying to lean on other people in my life and take some of it off of her, but then I find myself talking to her about something and feeling bad about having left stuff out, because then I assume she already knows something, and feel like she doesn't trust me when I bring something up that happened a while back, because there have been a few times she says "you never told me that" or "I didn't know that" (not intended to cause guilt, but causing it nonetheless).

I actually got this name when I was in inpatient... My catch phrase, if you will, was "it happens" but when I went inpatient, every time I said "it happens" somebody replied with "but you've got this"... So slowly "I got this" became my new catch phrase... It's not always how I feel, but it at least works as a somewhat reminder when I see it.. I hate it being my name on here when I'm upset, though, because its way more optimistic than I ever am towards myself... I have complete confidence in everything else, but none for myself...