MELISSSAD81- Did you sign that contract? If so stick to it because I have no doubt your pdoc will section you if it's not followed. Probably a third of my therapy is about my feeling and deciding whether or not to continue my medication. So I would suggest talking to your T. You may want to consider meds for the short term given your current difficulties.

For me meds are going to be for life but I'm only on 2/1x a day, at night. I also have PRN's and take thyroid meds when I wake up. The thyroid med is not because of my psych meds. My husband only takes 2/1x a night psych meds also but he has no PRN's. If you can handle it that may be an option. Sorry you have to make this decision.

As for books, I like to read blogs instead.

As for therapy 'talk therapy' is the best for my therapy goals but CBT is generally needed first to get me comfortable with the therapist. Often when I'm severely not well my T goes back to cbt to get to me. I think therapy is very individual to the person and their goals.