So I have been dxed schizoaffective bipolar type for about 9 months. Before that it was schizoaffective depressive type for about 2 years. For 4-5 years before that I had a different pdoc who said I had psychotic disorder NOS.

Anyways I have always (since college) (6-7 years before going to a pdoc) participated in SI. Does anyone else do this? Is it a symptom of schizoaffective?

I don't cut. Mine manifests a little differently. I wet my skin so it gets damp/soft. Then i scratch it until it is raw and bleeds. I was afraid to admit it to a pdoc for a while. I finally got a T that I admitted it to who told me I needed to let pdoc know. It was scary but I did. He didn't react to me like I was crazy. He just simply brushed it off as something minor and said he was more concerned with my paranoia and hallucinations.

T asks every visit how I am doing with it...I am honest with her and will openly admit that I am still struggling with it. Pdoc has only asked about it once since I told him and since he seemed to say it was minor last time, i lied to him.

I want to be girly and start wearing skirts again, but my legs are covered with sores where I scratched it raw and then pick the scabs when it does start to heal. I just don't know if I should let pdoc know or not. I don't want him to brush it off again, yet I want help. I don't even know if there is anything he can do about it.

Just looking for some input/thoughts. I will stop rambling now.