Marriage is a responsibility. I truly believe that.

I have to honestly try to help before I flee.

At the same time there are just some lines that shouldn't be crossed. Incest as a victim is one thing, mutually agreed upon incest or incest as a perpetrator are both entirely different.

We are sober, healthy and otherwise responsible people.

But.....

I need to dissect this to find out what was actually going on. I need to feel completely sure if it was adolescent confusion or genuine adult sexual perversion.

You are absolutely right, I can't fix anything. I told her that this was going to ruin us unless she did her part. I can't drag her through the process. I don't want to leave her but if she doesn't seek the help she needs I can't do it for her.

We need to seek help as a couple, but I think she needs some serious help on her own.

This is the second serious relationship I have had that was stained with an abusive past and sexual trauma and confusion. My first relationship didn't end well. I wasn't equipped to deal with it.... this time it is more serious and I am far less equipped to understand the situation.

God help me.