I am so sorry. I know what you are going through though. I was on Abilify a few years ago but also had to be taken off of it and now can't afford any medical care at all. What I notice helps my thoughts is trying to keep my hands from being idol. While the amount of thoughts at once is still present, it tends to help slow them down a bit. Also, calming soft music helps, especially at night. I would also recommend that you remind yourself, no matter how small the accomplishment, even if it is just showering, or getting out of bed, that you did SOMETHING, even just looking on here for help, is better than doing nothing at all. That might help from feeling so down =/ I wish you the best of luck!