I have fought with insomnia all my life. I remember having it even in elementary school. It gets worse with my anxiety levels, and this summer has been the worse time i remember with depression and anxiety.

I have been taking over the counter sleep aids, some to help me sleep because of my anxiety, some to help me sleep because it hurts too much to be awake. Sleep is my only respite from my emotions and I crave it.

My depression is lifting somewhat and I am no longer taking sleep aids to hide from my emotions, but I still take them to fight anxiety that keeps me awake at night. My husband has just started a new job working overnights so I can no longer take them on nights he is not here as I have 3 children and more often then not, one of them is up for something during the night. I have tried to tend to them when medicated but it is incredibly difficult and I am slow to awaken to their cries, so I have decided to quit taking them when it's just the kids and I home in case they need me.

It is so hard. I started weaning myself off of them before the change because it bothered my husband, he felt I was abusing them, but I don't sleep much without them and that causes an increase in my depression and anxiety, not to mention it is just plain difficult to function when you're not sleeping. The increase in depression and anxiety makes it worse to sleep, and to top it off I'm crabby, unfocused, and have a difficult time functioning. I find myself eating crap all day long to help keep me alert, but it doesn't help. I'll just get fat.

I miss my sleep aids.