So I started up my meds again a few days ago... for what good that did me.

I was seriously considering ODing, but not to die- just to feel numb for a while. But when I got to the crosswalk before my dorm, I saw a speeding car and had the overwhelming urge to get myself hit by it. It was going to hit me, but then my brain froze and i couldn't take the last two steps to be in front of it when it passed.

Then, to avoid the awkward sexual tension between my roommate and her boyfriend, I left to go get a lot of burger king to eat then purge. I'm sitting here with the tear-soaked wrappings now, and it feels like I'm rooted to the chair. I feel so numb but not the good kind of numb where you just don't give a shyte.

Guess if I'm going to be alive for this week's classes, I better finish my homework.