(((((Lisa))))) I'm so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and upset. But it's really good that you were able to open up your feelings, even if it wasn't technically 'in person' to anyone ... you've really come to a good spot and i think you'll find that if you continue to be able to trust yourself and nothers, this site will really help you. There are so many caring people on here, it really is an amazing spot.
Take care
Jacq